Every year I make a new resolution—to exercise more, lose weight, save more money, spend more time with family, or keep my house cleaner—and every year I find myself struggling to meet my goals. I’m not alone. Statistics show that by mid January half of Americans have already given up their resolutions. Clearly there are many reasons for this but I think the main reason is that we set unrealistic goals. I know I’m a messy person. It’s just in my nature. When I make my resolutions, I don’t aim for achievable goals like putting away my laundry right after I wash it. I aim for lofty goals, like organizing every closet, dusting weekly, and never letting an item of clothing sit unfolded. I have a busy life and I just can’t possibly keep this up without a complete personality overhaul. Short of mood-altering drugs, this isn’t going to happen. This year, I’m setting a simple, achievable goal for myself: take steps to get better sleep.
Those big puppy dog eyes are begging for a snuggle. It’s almost impossible to say no to your cozy little dog, all curled up next to you under the covers—almost as hard as it is to say no to your 5-year-old who’s scared in the middle of the night. And very few of us can deny a spouse who has just as much of a right to the master bed as you do. But sleeping companions can dramatically reduce the quality of your sleep in myriad ways. Each time they move, you’re disturbed. Every snuffle or snore, chortle or blanket snatch interrupts your precious sleep. If you happen to be a light sleeper or suffer from any form of insomnia, those disruptions can rob you of hours of sleep every night as you lay there staring at the ceiling, worrying about bills or work. Long-term, that can have serious implications for your health. So what do you do? How do you reclaim your bedroom sanctuary? Here are some ideas.
Get ready for a shocking statistic: a full one third of American adults suffer from chronic pain. That’s more than all the people who have diabetes, cancer, and heart disease combined. So why don’t we hear more about this population? Diabetes is national news on a weekly basis. There’s information for diabetics on food labels at the grocery store, running nonstop on commercials, and in just about every information packet you’ll ever get at your doctor’s office. But when it comes to chronic pain there is a deafening silence. I think there are several reasons for this dearth of information and attention. First, chronic pain can refer to a wide range of conditions, from migraine headaches to nerve pain to backaches. And in each case, treatments are often lacking.
Shift work is a reality of our modern economy. Services don’t stop running when the sun goes down. Without night workers—nurses and doctors, toll booth workers, security guards, policemen and women, truck drivers, pilots, and more—our world would grind to a halt. One of my closest friends works nights at a home for children. Most of his time is spent reading, but when the kids wake up or there’s an emergency, he is the first person on the scene. Without him, those kids wouldn’t be safe. But he pays a high price. Like many late shift workers, he suffers from terrible sleep-wake disruption, and is always either strung out or exhausted. After years of this strange schedule, he suffers from a host of physical problems. He has high blood pressure, struggles with his weight, and was just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He also has a lot of trouble with his relationship.
Ah, the Mayans: an ancient people that somehow predicted the end of the world centuries after the fall of their civilization. Never mind the thousands of other apocalyptic predictions that have been made throughout history, met with nothing more than a few hundred devout doomsday believers in a desert somewhere. It’s true, I will admit, the hype surrounding this particular apocalyptic prediction is pretty impressive. It’s all over the news. Real, non-crazy people are feeling frightened by the whole thing. Rest assured, America. We might be bringing on the apocalypse with our irresponsible use of fossil fuels, deforestation, habitat destruction, and wanton disregard for the balance of nature, but that apocalypse will probably take at least another few decades. But, for fun, let’s assume the Mayans were right and we’re all doomed (sounds super fun, right?) On the up side, you don’t have to worry about the fiscal cliff, recession, or various other manifestations of your economic discontent. If the world has to end, at least we can forget about congress. On the down side, the apocalypse is noisy and disruptive and can really sabotage a good night’s sleep. Here are some tips for getting rest when the end is nigh.
When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always a sleepless night. I’d lie there imagining my presents, trying to get inside Santa’s head: Was I good enough for a bicycle? Could Santa afford that this year? Maybe I’ll get a Nintendo because I put it on my list three times! Or, oh no, maybe that annoyed Santa! I knew the sooner I fell asleep, the sooner Christmas would come. But hard as I tried, squeezing my eyes shut, burying my head in my pillow, it just never happened. Then, of course, I’d spend Christmas Day in a torpor, opening my gifts with bleary eyes and, eventually, falling asleep amidst a forest of wrapping paper. If only I’d had some tricks for falling asleep! Here are some ideas for your over-excited Christmas tot.
I once stayed in a hotel/art installation called the Propeller City Island Lodge in Berlin. Its whole purpose is to experiment with sensory distortion—to use furniture and space to confuse, befuddle and delight with floating beds, strange mirrors, and optical tricks to create a warped sense of space. The way I felt in those spaces was strangely akin to the way I feel after an all-nighter: disoriented, amused, slightly afraid, and more than slightly uncomfortable.
When I was a kid, I read a book about African explorers. I was living in Africa at the time, so the story was especially alluring. Africa: home to heartbreakingly beautiful sunsets, the most delicious orange Fanta I’ve ever had, one of the best zip lines in the world, and the greatest number of diseases of any country on earth. The book was about these two men journeying alone into the jungles of what was, at the time, the nation of Zaire (today it is the Democratic People’s Republic of Congo). They had a compass, sleeping bags, enough fresh water for a week, and their wits. Of course, like many adventure stories, the two men didn’t have a peaceful time frolicking amongst the epiphytes. No, they met angry local people, had a run in with a cheetah, ran out of water, and had to build a shelter out of monkey bones. Then, one of them got bitten by a tsetse fly and fell into a strange dreamlike trance. The story was fiction but, as I would soon learn from my dad (a medical student at the time), sleeping sickness is very real, and very frightening. I spent the rest of our year in Kenya scouring my surroundings for tsetse flies so that I might escape the fantasy explorer’s dreaded fate.
I’ve written a lot about sleep apnea. It’s one of the most common sleep disorders, and one of the most dangerous. Just a quick recap: sleep apnea is a potentially fatal condition that causes pauses in breathing during sleep, sometimes hundreds of times throughout the night. These periods of oxygen deprivation can raise a person’s risk for high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, and obesity. The precipitous and repeated drops in blood oxygen are what damage the body’s delicate tissues. Sleep apnea also results in a diminished quality of sleep. Poor sleep is related to a whole host of conditions, from anxiety and depression, to poor intellectual performance, to collapsing relationships. One of the things that’s so upsetting about sleep apnea is that it can be successfully treated, eliminating all of these frightening side effects. And yet, few sufferers even know they are suffering. If you live alone or your partner is a heavy sleeper, you may have sleep apnea and be entirely unaware. Even more frightening: new research shows that women are at particularly high risk.